The Return of Mick the Pirate

Last evening saw a return to IHMN and the best way to do that is with Pirates! The table was set and the plot centered on the treasure of Mick the Pirate which had to be excavated from the island in the middle of the table. I called it Skull Island but it had no distinguishing features that gave it that name. I need to buy a skull as I can't see myself making one of those. Six players - including me - attended for this jaunt back into the 18th century. Many were supplied with rum - it seemed the thing to do. 

I had engineered all factions the same. Each had a commander (+3 FV and SV with Tough and a Pluck of 3+), a 2iC (+3 FV and SV with Fanatic and a Pluck of 4+) and between 10-12 warriors (+2 FV and SV with a Pluck of 5+.) The warriors were armed with whatever the figure had. This meant two pirates were wielding paddles (as a two handed weapon), another two could strike their foes with a barrel, one Frenchman had but a drum to defend himself with and King B'Donga was armed with a fly whisk and a pile of skulls to throw. I have found that having a large force of poor fighters with high pluck is much more entertaining than trying to figure out an elite force. When poor troops do something spectacular everyone enjoys it. Oh yes, and no-one could swim. 

Above one band of pirates arrived on the table in jolly-boats. 

The Frenchmen were led by Serge Pissoir their daring and famous captain. 

Another band of pirates but this one was Welsh. All had the surname Jones. The rather Asian looking gentleman - who was second in command - was actually called Tom Yum Jones. He had been down the pit since the age of six. 

The British could not let the treasure fall into the hands of the French so they had sent an elite group of infantry. 

The Turkish slavers of Filthy Abdullah. He had enough grenades to sink Skull Island and his fearsome second in command was Al-Hurun, the Arabic superhero. His whirling blade was infamous. 

Finally the locals had also appeared. 

The island which held the treasure was completely cut off and so anyone who wanted it would have to leap or swim thus braving shark infested waters. 

In an inexplicable display of lust, Tom Yum Jones began molesting one of his shipmates behind a bush. The Captain, obviously approving, watched on leering. 

The French and British, in a more warlike spirit, ran towards the centre of the table. 

Slaver after slaver plunged into the shark infested waters. 

To the oars!

Run you dogs! We have far to go and must lose no time!

Three pirates were swimming madly for the shore of Skull Island. But the progress was closely watched by a denizen of the deep. 

The French shot at the pirates from a rocky outcrop.

King B'Ddonga urged his troop forward. 

The shark attacked. Between its rending jaws and their complete failure to swim the Turkish slavers lost half their men in the first two or three turns. 

An ineffective firing line was formed by the Brits. It was ineffective as it had prepared to shoot the Turks who had, by now, drowned. 

The pirates likewise felt the aggression of the sharks. 

Tom Yum Jones had buried his face in the cleavage of his shipmate. Just when he would enter the fray was uncertain. It was an epic display of lechery. 

Three pirates had reached the shore. In the background Serge Pissoir prepares a death defying leap onto Skull Island. Failure would plunge him into the water. 

The natives attack. 

Vicious combat erupts. Al-Hurun cut down his African foe. Although he would much prefer to clap him in irons for a quick sale. 

The pirates grew closer. As they paddled a long range musketry duel played out against the French. Most shots from both sides were very ineffectual. 

More Frenchmen prepare for the leap. Serge languishes in the water as a sinister fin nears. 

The pirates reach Skull Island. The French shooting from the heights peppered the boat but few if any had found their mark. 

The passing of the jolly-boats had raised an aggressive threat from the deep. The 'Son of Kraken' hated the passage of any boats through these waters. It now stalked behind the pirates. 

The British, who had by now realised that the Turks were doing a wonderful job of annihilating themselves, began to run forward to find a new foe. 

A blunderbus discharges at close range but strangely a wicker shield seems perfect defense against the flying projectiles. 

Rabeh Zubair waved his enormous sword decapitating the poorly armed natives before him. 

Tom Yum Jones, finally with his lust sated, lies in the cold embrace of the deep. Pirates should really learn to swim. 

The French plan to shoot everyone on the island was simply not working. They left their leader, Captain Pissoir, fight almost alone on the island. He was finally killed after being shot numerous times and having bravely stabbed an opponent who was lying face down. 

The British now impact into the Native tribesmen who seemed to be fighting everyone. 

The island was now the scene of fierce combat. The 'Son of Kraken' set to strangling pirates from behind. One pirate had managed to dig down to uncover the treasure of Mick - the One-Eyed, One armed rapist pirate. But to the surprise of all the only thing Mick had ever buried was ... himself. Legends of his demise were much exaggerated and he jumped forth to kill his foes. With him were the animated remains of the last pirates he had cruelly buggered to death. This new foe preyed on the remains of the combatants on the island. 

This was probably a plot twist too far as the evening was late now. The new force prolonged the scenario. But it did look good. I was also not prepared to kill off Mick in a narrative sense as he was a long running and much loved character in our pirate games. 

I included the skeleton force to give to the person who had their force wiped out early. This would allow them to keep playing a role in the game. This was the "You've ruined my Week" special rule named after a famous incident in our IHMN gaming history. The first player to utter the words "You've ruined my Week!" would command this new force. 

A native warrior stands triumphant over his defeated enemy. 

More men fell in the fighting around Mick. 

Chaos now reigned across the board. 

Filthy Abdullah stood throwing grenades onto the island careless of who fell. 

I had no idea who was winning but it certainly didn't feel like the French (me.) I don't think it mattered at all. Everyone was knee deep in carnage by now and seemed to be enjoying it. 

The end of the game. The evening had grown late and more fighting could occur but the rum and beer was just about gone and work waited for many the next morning. 

It was a great game. Much banter had been spent, laughs were had and insults thrown almost as much as shots fired and swords swung on the table. Many had fallen but one thing was certain = Wargames was the winner. Thanks to Jason, Ian, Bill Nick and Michael for a great game that was played in excellent spirits. IHMN is continually a good system (especially when played with poor troops with a high pluck.) 

My French Napoleonic Army Begins

It has brewing for decades. I once had a 1/72nd scale ESCI(?) plastic British Napoleonic army in my late teens. With this I played quite a lot of WRG Rules 1685-1845. I threw them away 15 yrs ago at least as they were disused and I could paint much better. I could also afford lead now. 

I decided 2017 would be the year to scratch that Napoleonic itch that had been bothering me since around 1988. I had always wanted to do Napoleonic wargaming well. I had prevaricated for years due to what could only be called a schism in rules of this period and subsequently basing. Every time I was ready to order figures I couldn't decide what basing to use ... so I collected something else. 

Finally the seal had been broken and I have (with some promoting from the League of Ordinary Gentlemen) to go to a 32 figure unit. The 40mm x 30mm bases were pretty obvious (or smaller ones that can be added to make this size) as it seems to be as close to standard as you can get in this fractured period. 

Mini manufacturer was also easy for me. I don't like the high cost going with AB and I've had some issues with their Ancient range - chiefly inconsistent scale within a range. After a little looking I found CGM and have not looked back. I really like this range for many reasons. Almost no flash is almost a 'royal flush' as far as I'm concerned with miniatures. After I received my first order I then found out what a nice bloke Dermot is and thats that. 

My interest in the period is in the later years - 1813-1815. The romantic image of France and Napoleon fighting for its very existence has lured me in. The constant amount of enormous battles makes it a rich period. Napoleon' 1814 campaign is also of great interest as he returns to form and comes close to saving his rule in France. The increased proficiency of Allied armies - including a resurgent Prussia - simply makes things more interesting to me. 

In terms of rules I place my faith in Sam Mustafa who I have followed with great pleasure through the Seven Years War - Might and Reason and Maurice. It would be Blucher for me. I also have long thought I wanted to play a large scale Napoleonic wargame which I believe suits the period best. It relays the scale of the period, the combined arms tactics and the major innovation of the period - the self reliant corps structure. 

Above are what I intend to be a veteran infantry unit. Flags have been freshly received by Maverick. I am quite pleased with their product. The above is the 46th Line - even though my units will represent whole brigades I find modelling particular units interesting. 

Here are the Young Guard 3rd Voltigeurs. I am very interested in the Young Guard who were very numerous and so actively engaged throughout the late war period. These were the shock troops of Napoleon's forces and he did not hesitate to use them. While the Old Guard are the best they were fewer in number,  handled with more care and not as frequently engaged. I'll have three of these Young Guards units in the end. 

Dragoons - the 6th. I chose my units be comparing the OOB's of 1814 battles and the Army of the North of the Hundred Day campaign. If units were present in both (or if not both then 1813 would do) then these would be represented in my army. 

Dragoons for me exemplify the way I collect armies. They were the most numerous of French cavalry regiments. And yet, these and not fairly represented in the armies of wargamers. Usually people will collect the flashy and most tabloid units (eg: how many FOW armies are filled with Tigers and Panthers while the humble Panzer III was still numerous but because it's stats won't bring you victory on the table no-one uses them.) I like to try and make armies out of the units that were actually there. This explains why I collect Young Guard over the Old - and why I intend to use at around 4 conscripts. 

Young Guard ... with flash. I'm not great at photos and I also often dislike what it does to my figures - it reveals my flaws as a painter. This is about as good as my painting gets. It took me ages and I'm very happy with the appearance. 

Foot Batteries. These are outclassed in Blucher by Heavy and Horse but I again intend to put more of these into the field because that's how things were done. These represent 8 pdrs. Who can spot a problem with the assembly of these cannon? 

My recent painting efforts. Right is the 6th Light. These will also represent a veteran infantry unit. By 1814 there were not many light regiments left and many of the recruits were not suited for such a role as France was, by this time, scraping up almost anyone to fill the ranks. 

On the left is ... I think the 93rd. I mixed 50% greatcoat foot with 50% normal uniform line infantry. The greatcoated foot were placed in the middle of the formation to represent conscripts filling out the ranks while experienced troops led the formation. I have made two such foot units. 

Here are the 15th Line. Also a unit made from combined veterans and conscripts. 

I have added a small label to the back of each unit. I began this practice back in 2010 with my SYW armies. I find it adds depth to the painting experience by researching a real unit rather than just grinding out more painting. On the table top favourites soon emerge and you remember the battle when the 15th held the bridge or such and such. It develops character to the army and simply makes wargaming more fun for me. Your troops develop a life of their own. 

I have a bugger of a time getting a good image of my dragoons. In each they don't look too good but I assure you they do look good on the table top. In each image I can detect a blade of flock stuck to a helmet rim of sword blade and the painting looks clumsy. Hey, it probably is clumsy compared to many people but I like the unit. 

That's it for now. Five foot, 1 cavalry and 2 gun batteries. I decent start. I'm in this for the long haul as this is only about 40% of what I intend to do and soon I'll be starting either a Prussian or Russian force as an opponent - I always paint two armies. I wrote much of this for me to explain to my future self what I was thinking at the time. I can hopefully, in future, become nostalgic over a project that will be finished one day but seems fairly daunting now. 

Maurice SYW Wargame - The Battle of Smoker's Grove

Technically the War of Maria's Mirkin was over. The Protestant powers had twice beaten France sending her armies scurrying back over the Rhine and into French territory. But Britain had not played enough games so another scenario was invented ... Austria would strike northward to try and sever the line of supply and communication between Hanover and the advancing British and Prussian forces. A win for the Catholic powers at most would end the war in a stalemate. 

Thus the battle began. Terrain for the battle was Forest. A low number of features were selected by each side ... all woods. The objective was therefore placed in an open field as other higher terrain features were not present. It would be the battle of Smoker's Grove. It would be the battle that I (the victor) felt outplayed in many regards. I did not have the initiative but was instead reactionary for several phases of the battle. 

The Anglo-Dutch deployment of Lord Rodney Cocksmoker. The open terrain would hopefully aid the Austrians with their larger cavalry force. The British reserve waited in column to react to the direction of attack. 

The Austrians (Feldmarshal Wolfenberg) deployed out of cannon range (the British had three batteries to nil) and tried to convince the Brits that they could go either way. In reality the strong left push was obvious as was their cavalry force that would threaten the flank and draw away valuable reserves from the action. Stretch a small army and it will break ... the idea ... would it work? (Note the Austrians have a notable that enables units to move freely through terrain.)

The stalwart British and Dutch ... Steady Lads, Lethal Volley and Great Captain = National Advantages. 33 points ... leads to a small force. 

The Austrian foot ... which way would they push? Oblique order and Cavaliers = National Advantages. Oblique is one of the best advantages in my humble opinion. Underrated. 

The Austrian right flank. Three units ready and willing to turn a flank. 

The Austrian left ... almost all these units had arisen to elite status over the course of the campaign. 

Against the elite cavalry wing of Austrian stood the outnumbered cavalry forces of Britain, Holland and Denmark ... all trained however. A push here with the Cavalier national advantage would yield results for Austria.  

The British send four foot units forward to try and cut down Austrian maneuver opportunities. 

The Austrians moved their infantry to the left. This was the plan but I did not adhere to it. I felt afterwards that this was almost the point where I surrendered initiative. The question was ... will the British four regiments continue to advance or would the rest of the line come up? Was the British commander ... Lord Rodney Cocksmoker (of the Bristol Cocksmokers) near suicidal or did he have a plan? If the advance continued these isolated units could be molested in the extreme. 

About now the Austrians passed ... hoping to draw the British further forward and gain more high span useful cards ... their wishes were granted as both Coordinated cards were received. Many of our players believe this to be the most powerful card in the game. (it allows for players to activate two forces in the one phase.) 

With the Austrian forces employing a Chief of Staff and two notables in charge of each cavalry wing, the span of each card was doubled in ordering these forces. This has enabled the Austrians to threaten the flanks of other armies consistently. 

They marched out to the left ... continue or push back? If I returned I could isolate the four regiments pushed forward. If four units were taken then that would leave the British in a terrible position and battered in morale. 

Lord Cocksmoker engages his reserve. Will it be too late? These could support the infantry or threaten the Austrian cavalry that were supposed to be turning a flank. 

The Austrian infantry had been ordered back to their original position. The lure of taking the four regiments that were isolated so far in front of their army was too great. Was Cocksmoker committing suicide or was some plan afoot? With the Oblique advantage the Austrian commander (me) felt certain he could move 5 or 6 units into firing position on just four. With three cavalry on the right (ready to charge into the flank or onto units weakened by musketry) he felt secure. The three advancing British units in reserve could threaten the right wing cavalry so caution was needed. Again, the Austrians were reacting to the British moves. 

The Austrians took a risk ... carry out the plan ...  instead of preparing the infantry line to fire upon the British - the cavalry were moved into charging position. The Austrians were back on the original plan. This was going to hurt. 

Choose your targets men ... charge without mercy. One unit moved back to get around the rear of the centre if required. This could additionally threaten the flank of the British reserve that was advancing. The Austrian has too many units for the British to counter. Their firing would need to be superb. 

 Here an image is missing ... the British forward units advanced and used the Firefight card (in the Austrian phase) to precipitate a volley phase into the unprotected flanks of the Austrian infantry - who were relying on this turn to form up out of marching formation. This was the cost of advancing the cavalry. I felt confident with 8 infantry units against 4 I had the troops to absorb the blow even if events went awry. This was the case. Although units sustained 2 and 3 fatigues each stayed in the fray. The line held ... now the volleys would turn to Austrian advantage. 

The Austrian cavalry charged ... a good result ... each won weakening the British forces. Another charge would result in defeat on the right for Britain. Maurice cavalry charges sometimes require a little persistence. 

Now only two British units remain of the advance guard. The Austrians had flanked the line through the forest allowing four units to pour fire into three. It greatly aided the Austrians that two units - which were the main targets of the British - were elite making them much harder to damage. 

Now two remained. Could the British reserve close and flank the flanking cavalry? 

It was about now that Lord Rodney Cocksmoker (of the Bristol Cocksmokers) asked for the Honours of War. He took off his tricorn and bent to his knee (possibly knees) in supplication. The Austrian Fledmarshall Wolfenberg hesitated ... then refused ... the potential Epic Points for taking two more units were much more advantageous. Claiming problems with translation the Austrian officer refused Cocksmoker's request. This sealed his doom. In England the noose now awaited. 

Aloof, haughty and sure of his superiority, Wolfenberg stared down at Cocksmoker whose cheeks were smeared with tears as he pleaded with all his suctioning stamina ... but his efforts were greeted with aristocratic and dominant disdain.

Weakened by musketry the last forward British unit would be swept from the field even it it managed to win the combat ... (the Brits used on their advantageous cards to bolster their own combat score and reduce the score of the Austrian cavalry. But it was not enough - The elite cavalry status and the hits sustained tipped the scale of the combat.) The infantry were ridden down. 

The centre ... once there were British infantry ... now a semi-circle of Austrian attackers demonstrated the pressure of fire and sabres the British advance guard was subjected to. The right of image, however, shows the vulnerable position that the Austrian cavalry were in. But by now the Brits had lost their final two morale points. A roll of 1 or 2 would have extended the game by but a turn. The Austrians may have had a units damaged but nothing could halt this slaughter. 

The Austrian left flank. Three rampant elite cuirassier units ready to bear down upon the last of the flank. But this did not occur ... the Brits withdrew from the field hotly pursued by the Austrian cavalry. 

In the end a terrible victory to the Austrians. Six units were lost to but one ... and that one was a mercenary unit gifted to the attacker at the beginning of the game. No Austrian units had actually fallen. But the Austrian commander was left wondering ... so much of the game had he only reacted and was the British commander displaying desperate or almost suicidal tendencies? Or was this a good idea pushed too far? It was an aggressive tactic that reduced the choices of his opponent and caused me to prevaricate on my original plan. 

The Austrians eventually returned to their plan and annihilated the cavalry wing of the British. Their numbers of infantry accounted for the superior British troops. Their elite infantry clung on despite tremendous pressure then the centre was surrounded and dispatched. 

 The Anglo-Dutch were cut to pieces on the battlefield and then in pursuit. The Austrians gained 6 Epic points bringing them only 1 point from victory in the entire campaign. Lord Rodney had tried to push an attack that limited Austrian advantages and torn initiative from the enemy. But the plan ultimately failed. More elite troops, numerical advantage and a return to the Austrian flanking plan ripped apart the British troops sending their morale steadily plummeting until a major victory was reached. 

Hurrah Austria! Hurrah the Empress! France was saved and the Protestant powers driven back. The War of Maria's Mirkin has been declared a draw. With a single battle, even a defeat, the Austrians will win the campaign. They are undefeated in 5 games and a cavalry army - that was considered ungainly and difficult to use at the outset (mostly by me it's commander) - has ultimately triumphed over smaller more infantry specialised armies. To rub salt into the wound the Austrians gained their 4th notable after this battle ... this increases yet again their ability to command troops over a wider area while their enemies must keep theirs compressed.